Why do I not sit at Your feet more?

You who long to teach and mold me.

Why do I clutter my mind with useless things?

Temporary, rust-and-destroy things

That cause me to miss out on the peace You give.

You are the King of Peace,

The King of righteousness.

And then there’s me,

So far from perfect…

With perfectionist tendencies

That steal me away from the joy of Your presence–

Holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners,

Exalted above the heavens.

But I’m too busy. Too tired. Too burnt out.

Running on fumes. Nostrils flaring.

Eyes heavy. Mind foggy.

Chest expanding for deep breaths.

Yet still playing the role of Martha,

Desperate to get it all done,

As though peace comes later.

I huff and puff at myself for being less like Mary.

See? I’m so far from perfect.

I strive to fulfill that weak and useless law

That Christ overcame

In His once for all sacrifice.

Once for all–

Why don’t I pause to remember that more often?

Why don’t I pause and remember the One who covers me?

Who gives me a better hope,

An unchanging guarantee of salvation.

Oh Father,

Why do I not sit at Your feet

Day after day, night after night,

In morning light and starry skies?

Why do I not soak in the balm of Your Word like I should?

Why do I strive?

Let me fall into Your arms

And sit and sit and sit

And listen and listen and listen.

There is better rest than sleep,

And it is simply more of You.

You have saved me completely.

See, I am far from perfect,

But Jesus covers me.

Therefore I am free;

I am free indeed!